I am probably going to come across as a mean and ungrateful person but this time of year always irritates me.
I see all those endless ads encouraging everyone to show their mother how much they appreciate all the wonderful things they have done for them. Send flowers, chocolates or other considerate gifts.
Most people I expect do have or have had a loving, caring mother, however, my experience of motherly love was quite different. So, if this post seems to be bitter and overly self-indulgent it is just how I feel about Mothers' Day.
I do understand what you mean. I was lucky enough to have a very good mother and as such I treated her accordingly - not just on that one day of the year. As she aged and got less mobile then I always took her some treat which I knew she would like - lemon sole, buttered brazils (two of her favourites). But having been a teacher all my working life I saw some very bad mothers and I can fully understand the feelings of those on the receiving end. The day is really Mothering Sunday of course - and the whole idea of MothersDay is an American import designed to separate us from our money.
ReplyDeleteMy younger sister turned into a very maternal personality and was always determined that any children of hers would experience a different childhood to ours. She has brought up four beautiful, well rounded and loving children and I am so pleased to see her surrounded by such a happy family. She also became our dad's carer when he suffered his series of strokes and then vascular dementia. I was not living in the UK at the time so she had to juggle looking after four children plus care for dad. I am in awe of her sometimes and love her to bits. An unhappy childhood doesn't have to result in an unhappy adult does it.
DeleteA friend of mine, now 80 years old, says that the only thing she learned from her mother was how not to be the same kind of mother. So sad. Apparently the woman had fixed ideas for what her children should look like, accomplish and be. My friend and her brother both have graduate degrees, had good jobs , happy marriages so luckily turned out O.K.
ReplyDeleteMy mother was pretty self-centred and often told me she wished she hadn't had me or my sister as we interfered with her enjoyment of life. It didn't make for a happy childhood.
Delete