I am very tired today as I got very little sleep last night. My fairly new "bounce-back" pillow seemed suddenly to have been hewn from a block of concrete and my down filled mattress topper had morphed into a sheet of corrugated iron.
Tossing and turning, checking the clock every hour to see how long I had been awake, I only managed a few short dozes here and there.
On the occasions when my fizzing brain eventually began to slow down and all those random, irrelevant thoughts stopped bouncing around and gradually merged into a foggy blur, I was inevitably launched back into full wakefulness by the arrival of my old friends, Snortle and Puff.
These are the noises that P makes in his sleep. He doesn't snore, but his constant nasal congestion (sorry, too much detail probably), means that his breathing is disturbed during sleep and results in sudden, random loud snorts when beathing in and then a heavy puff of air when exhaling.
Ah, but you are deaf, I hear you exclaim. How can you hear it?
Well, yes, I am extremely hard of hearing. Not totally deaf, I do have some residual hearing, and I can get by during the day if I wear my hearing aids. At night, without my hearing aids, I cannot hear sounds such as the ticking clock, water running in the basin, rain on the window, the doorbell, smoke alarm or telephone etc but somehow those snortling, puffing noises seem to be able to get through and annoy the hell out of me when I am desperately trying to get to sleep.
I have tried putting cotton wool in my ears at night to block the sound but that doesn't seem to help. Sometimes I think that I must be imagining it but that doesn't help me get to sleep.
Luckily, on those nights when I am not suffering from insomnia the noises don't bother me.
At least I no longer have to get up early to go to work.