Today did not quite go to plan.
Yesterday evening an elderly family friend rang and asked P if he would call round to her house this morning to "open up". She had given him a spare key last week, "just in case" as she said.
Over the past few months she seems to have become a little more confused, or perhaps confusing, saying and doing slightly odd things. We put this down to her age - 96 - and increasing physical frailty, although she has managed living on her own ever since her live-in companion (P's father) died 11 years ago.
P popped round to her house after breakfast at 8:30 as he was due to meet friends in Douglas later this morning.
I received a phone call from him soon afterwards telling me that he had found her body on the kitchen floor and had called 999.
I wonder why she had insisted that he visit her today as it seems such a coincidence and was not something she had ever asked before.
Poor lady. She had been telling us for a few years now that she was getting very tired of living and wished it could all be over.
Poor P for being the one to find her like that.
Oh no - what a shock. It sounds like she'd been planning it then. Your poor husband.
ReplyDeleteIt was an unpleasant experience. We can just be thankful that she is now at peace, as she wanted.
DeleteWe send our sympathies to P. Maybe she had already had a heart turn or something when she rang P last night. Who knows how we will each in our turn handle it when our time comes (or takes longer than we think it should). We hope your days improves on that shaking start.
ReplyDeleteShe had been telling P for several weeks that the end was near. She must have felt it.
DeleteHow very difficult for P. As you mention, she must have known. May she rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteI hope that it was quick and that she felt nothing. P said that she looked peaceful.
DeleteA nasty shock but she must have known what was happening. Amazing to live alone to age 96.
ReplyDeleteShe was very frail physically but we were constantly amazed at how well she managed.
DeleteShe knew she could count on P to take care of things for her. Like you, I am glad she is at peace. Thanks to P for his kindness to her.
ReplyDeleteWhen my father in law knew that he was dying he asked P to promise to look after her and make sure she was OK once he was gone. P has always felt that obligation to her, in memory of his dad.
DeleteCondolences to you all. Very sad, however she was wonderful to live so long at her own home and manage quite well apparently. Better way to go than be locked away in a facility, or ill for a long time and requiring nursing etc. May she RIP.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary. Yes, I think most people want to stay in their own homes for as long as possible. Her only remaining family are a couple of nieces who live in Australia so she managed with the support of P and one of her female friends.
DeleteSounds like my mother in many ways. She said she was ready to die one Christmas Eve to me and said not to worry and not to bother going round as she did not intend to get up. We visited her daily but she said she was perfectly happy but she had had enough of living and we weren't to worry about her and she intended to remain in bed. My brother went round a few days later at 5am as he always did and found her dead on the floor. He rang me, told me and I went back to bed for a couple of hours, nothing to be done at that time of the morning. I later went round at 8am and sorted out the death certificate and undertaker.
ReplyDeleteYes. Our friend seemed to have decided it was the end and was making arrangements. She had had enough of living and just wanted to go peacefully.
DeleteTo be 96 and living alone is some achievement.I expect most of us would like to end things like that; at home, no lingering illness... Still always sad though when it comes.
ReplyDeleteIt was a better way than some people end up, certainly.
DeleteIt must of been an awful shock for P.
ReplyDeleteHe says he was half expecting it but, yes, still a shock when it happens.
DeleteRest in Peace. She was lucky to have you and P and she went knowing you'd sort it all out.
ReplyDeleteIt is now down to her Executor to sort out everything so at least we don't need to do that.
DeleteI wonder if there will be a post mortem to determine the exact cause of death. It sounds as though she had reached the end and needed to go. Of course, 96 is a good long innings - if you will excuse the cricketing analogy! I know that Lord Peregrine is a rough tough fell runner but finding a dead body is not a nice experience for anyone to process and live with.
ReplyDeleteShe was taken away to the main hospital's mortuary so there may well be a post mortem, however, as we are not the next of kin nor the executors we shall probably not be informed. P did tell the attending police officer and paramedics about the recent conversations she had with him regarding wanting it all to be over and making sure he was going to be there this morning. We shall just have to wait and see.
ReplyDeleteWhat a shock for P. Even though he had been half expecting it it would still be a shock and not sat in a comfortable chair either but laying on the kitchen floor.
ReplyDeleteHaving worked in a funeral service I would say that there will definitely be a post mortem.
Condolences to you both and RIP to her.
Thank you Joan.
DeleteNever a pleasant experience and one which stays with you for a very long time. I hope P gets comfort from the conversation he had with her.
ReplyDeleteI think he feels relieved that she is no longer continuing to live on feeling unhappy.
DeleteIt sounds as if she knew. It also sounds as if she was ready. I cannot help but think how lovely it was to be able to manage right up to the end in her own home. We should all be so lucky. My condolences to you and P.
ReplyDeleteThank you Debby
DeleteWhat a horrible shock for him. It's a pity that she died alone. Poor soul.
ReplyDeleteI suppose we are all alone at the end.
DeleteSo sorry for your husband to be the one to find her. I hope he has no guilt feelings about going earlier or anything, people tend to feel they should have known or done something more when people die but really it sounds like she'd made up her mind to go. I suspect she went happily knowing he'd deal with things in the morning. x
ReplyDeleteIt seems that way MarksGran.
DeleteOh poor P finding her like that. She was ready to go …. Even though she had lived a long life, it’s still a shock when family/friends pass on. Hope P is OK. Thinking of you all. XXXX
ReplyDeleteThank you Jackie. She was quite unhappy towards the end so it came as a relief really.
DeleteXXX
DeleteThere is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. I hope that it doesn't dwell with P too much.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your update too.
Thank you Graham. P is quite sanguine about it all and doesn't appear to have been affected too much.
DeleteWhat a shock for P! I hope it wasn't too traumatic. I expect she knew and I hope it was quick and painfree...
ReplyDeletexxx